Book Two: Bella
by GinnyWeasley129
Summary: Book two form Breaking Dawn but from Bella's perspective. Please Review!
1. Jake

Jake's Appearance

I don't own twilight or any of the characters.

I sat there with staring blankly at the TV while Edward talked with Carlisle in the dining room, away from my human ears. Just then I herd a familiar rumbling motor pull up in front of the house. "Well, this is perfect timing for the _wolf_ to show up!" Rosalie spat, "Don't let him in…" she continued, but no one listened. Edward turned his head to the door, "Jacob is here to kill me," Edward said offhandedly. My face turned to one of horror. _How could he? What is he thinking? What about the treaty? _ "Edward what…let him in I want to speak with him…" I said trying to compose my face. "Of course!" Edward was next to me in an instant, "Whatever you want, please don't strain yourself," he said soothingly, but I saw past his pretenses, he was in so much pain. I hated being the cause of it, but I cared for this little baby growing inside of me just as much as Edward. "I'll go greet him," Carlisle said and walked swiftly through the front door. I only caught certain words of their short conversation like "Bella…alive…Jacob…best time…later…" "Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?" I croaked out. My throat was always dry and hot for some reason. I didn't hear any movement so I said, "Come in please, Jacob." I was now officially a Cullen; it was my house, too.

I turned my head, somewhat painfully to look in the entryway. At first I wondered whether it was really Jacob that had walked through the door, had he always been that huge? But the moment I saw him, I felt a sense of release in my chest. I felt that everyone I loved, save Charlie and Renee, was right here in this room with me. I looked up to his face, but was surprised, he wasn't looking at me, his jaw was dropped and he was gawking at Edward. I knew just what he was seeing. He was seeing the face Edward tried so hard to conceal from me, but with little luck. He was seeing Edward in pain. He was seeing my beautiful angel torn apart by my decisions. Then, as if he finally came to a conclusion, he turned his head slightly to face me. As he took the sight of me in, I thought I saw a sign of relief cross his face, but then as he looked closer, I knew he started to take in the full picture. How my skin was pasty and dark around my eyes. How my hair fell limply at my side, un-brushed. How my skin must have shined slightly form the sweat that plastered strands of my hair to the side of my face. He knew immediately something was wrong. I watched as different emotions flashed across his face. His expression made my stomach roll. My face felt red and my head heavy and suddenly felt dizzy. Rose swiftly moved something, hopefully inexpensive, under my mouth as I vomited into it. I immediately felt better physically and straightened up, looked to Jacob again. " Sorry about that." I whispered, embarrassed. Edward moaned quietly as if he was in pain. He slumped into my knees. I put my frail hands to his ice-cold cheek trying to tell him silently that everything was fine. Jacob presence seemed to make everything feel just fine.

Jacob took a few steps toward us, but stopped when Rose hissed a warning at him. " Rose, don't. It's fine." I said to her. She reluctantly retreated. "Bella, what's wrong?" he took my hands in is huge ones, "Are you all right?" _Yes I'm fine. Nothing is wrong._ I thought to myself. "I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob." I didn't want to tell him. I knew what his reaction would be. Edward moaned again, and I cradled his beautiful face. "What is it, Bella?" he pleaded. He deserved to know…I looked around for someone who could help me up so I could show him. "Help me up, Rose?" I asked her. She glared at Jake and I could tell she wanted so badly to lunge at him. To keep her calm, I spoke again. "Please, Rose." Rose came over to me and put her strong arm behind me for support. I shifted my weight to stand. "No," Jake's quiet voice came, "Don't get up…" I didn't want Jacob's mercy, I only felt he had the right to know. "I'm answering your question," I snapped. The blanket that had been concealing my stomach dropped to the floor when I stood.

I watched Jacob's face as he looked away from my face, down to my bloated stomach. I saw as his jaw dropped, and just to clarify, I wrapped my arms around my stomach, cradling my little nudger. I managed a weak smile, but Jacob face was one of complete horror. To fast to see, Edward moved to stand in front of Jacob. "Outside, Jacob," he snarled. Had I missed something? "Let's do this," he growled back as Emmet and Jasper went to stand behind Edward. "No." I gasped as I moved my clumsy swollen feet towards the two of them. I grabbed Edward's am, pleading.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella," he said trying to compose his face, and completely failing. His cool hand brushed my face along my jawbone. It felt so good since I had been running a slight fever. "Don't strain yourself. Please rest. We'll both be back in a few minutes." He said in a strained voice himself. I looked at his pained face and recalled that he had said, _ "_ We'll _both_ be back." I let go of his arm and slide back to the couch. I looked at Jacob, trying to see if he would hold the same promise. "Behave, and then come back," I said, but they both just walked through the front door. I watched them out the window as Edward led him farther and farther away from the house.

Another roll of nausea ripped through my system. Without any command, Rose was there, holding a basin for me. "Thanks," I said breathlessly when I was finished. "What are they saying?" I asked to no one in particular. "They're too far away, I can't hear what they're saying," Carlisle responded. Out of range. No one would know if they fought. Who would win? Fire versus ice.


	2. Negotiating

Negotiating

Ok, sorry, I know it's really long, but there is a lot of dialogue.

Finally, the front door opened and both of them walked back into the house. I quickly scanned Edward to make sure he was in one piece. Edward had kept his promise. He walked towards me, and my eyes flickered to Jake to make sure he was fine, but then back to my angel.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," Edward said. His words shocked me, but there were many things to discuss with Jake. "Over my pile of ashes," Rose snarled. It shocked me when she put a cold hand on my flushed cheek. "Bella," he said, scrutinizing my face," Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?" I looked at Jacob's face. It was filled with disgust, but I didn't know if it was me or the smell radiating form the multiple vampires. I looked up to Rose, "Rose it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." "It might be a trick," she hissed. It thought about that momentarily, "I don't see how," I said. "Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," Edward said through clenched teeth, "We're the ones she's afraid of." What was he saying? "No, no Edward. I'm not…" I whispered. Of course I would start crying. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Everyone, please." I looked at his tortured expression with self-disgust. Everyone filed out, but Rose hesitated. " Rose, I want you to go." I needed to talk to Jacob in private. Tell him good-bye before he left…again.

Jake walked carefully over to sit beside me. He took my small hands and rubbed them. His hot skin almost burned me, but it was a relief after being so cold all the time. "Thanks, Jake. That feels good." He smiled a bit, "I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous." "I know," I admitted, "I'm scary-looking." It reminded me of last year when I sat in the movie theater with Jessica, watching the zombies flash across the screen. "Thing-from-the-swamp-scary," he agreed. I smiled at his joke, for the first time in many days. "It's so good having you here. It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand." He rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Okay, okay, I bring it on myself." Here is comes. "Yeah you do. What're you thinking, Bells? Seriously!" I held my ground. "Did he ask you to yell at me?" I replied calmly. "Sort of. Though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before." I sighed audibly. "I told you—"he began, but I cut him off, remembering watching something on TV…"Did you know that _'I told you so'_ has a brother, Jacob? His name is _'Shut the hell up'._" I smiled internally. "Good one." I smiled wider. "I can't take credit—I got it off a rerun of _The Simpsons_. "Missed that one." ''It was funny." Neither of us said anything for a while. Finally I confronted him. "Did he really ask you to talk to me?" He nodded his big head and his shaggy hair fell to his shoulders. "To talk some sense into you. _There's_ a battle that's lost before it starts." "So why did you agree?" He didn't answer, and I wondered what exactly Edward had said to him. He would have asked him to tell me to let Carlisle and Edward help me, to give up my baby, that I would die if I didn't…"It'll work out, you know, I believe that." His face turned red, "Is dementia one of your symptoms?" he snapped at me. I laughed quietly trying to lighten the mood again. I couldn't stand when he was angry with me…to much stress. "Maybe, I'm not saying things will work out _easily_, Jake," my life had never been _easy_, "But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through and not believe in magic by this point." How could I look into my husband's face and not believe in magic? How could I look at Jake, all of Jake in is 6ft 7in body and not believe in magic? "_Magic?"_ "especially for you," I said as I pressed my hand into his cheek, "More than anyone else, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you." I imagined a girl, with long black hair, and brown eyes. I imagined her eyes vividly seeing just the right color…I realized too late that I had been imagining my eyes. I smiled sheepishly. "What are you babbling about?" "Edward told me once what it was like—your imprinting thing. He said it was like _A Midsummer Night's Dream,_ like magic. You'll find who you're really looking for Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense." I looked up at the glass wall and looked at my eyes reflecting in the window. It shocked my when Jacob let a low grumble rip through his chest. "If you think that imprinting could ever make sense of this _insanity_… Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?" He stuck a finger at my baby in an accusing way. I wanted to smack his hand, but I knew I would just hurt myself. "Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of _you_ loving _him_? When you die how is that ever right again? What's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him too, not that I care about that," I cringed away from that insult, "So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is _any_ sense, please show me Bella, because I don't see it."

No one ever did see it besides Rose and me. No one understood my love for the little baby that grew inside of me every minute. "I don't know yet, Jake. But I just…" I struggled to find the right words, "feel…that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see it as it is now. I guess you could call it faith." I didn't know if he understood because he snapped back at me, "You're dying for _nothing_, Bella! Nothing!" _Nothing…my baby meant nothing to him…he was nothing to anyone except me…and Rose." "_I'm not going to die. I _will_ keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that." I had repeated this many times. To every one of the Cullens at different moments, and now to Jacob. This one seemed to be the hardest for some reason.

"That's a load of crap Bella. You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. No normal person can do it. You're _not_ strong enough." He took my face very gently in his burning hands. It wasn't uncomfortable, but sudden. "I can do this, I can do this," I repeated to myself…and Jacob. He looked me over, "Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one." Yes _we_ had a plan. I nodded to him and looked away uncomfortable now because I knew this might be the last time Jacob spoke to me. I remembered all the reasoning I had shared before with the Cullens and brought it back to share with Jacob. "Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human, I mean." So?" he seemed confused by my statement. " So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room—they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her…" I wondered if he understood where my story was going. " You're not planning on surviving this human," he said out of focus. " No. I'm not that stupid. I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though." Jacob probably thought I was losing everything, when in fact I was gaining…I looked down at my belly. "Emergency vampirization," he whispered. "It worked for Esme. And Emmet, and Rosalie, and even Edward. None of them were in such great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives he saves them." I saw a pained look flash across his face, but it was gone as suddenly as it came. "Listen to me Bells. Don't do it that way…Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him. Yu know he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?" I flinched at the memory of long billowing black cloaks, and violent red eyes, searching. When he spoke again, his voice was more controlled. "Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me? " I didn't say anything. I had told Jacob many things those days while he lied in bed, covered head to toe in bandages, many things I didn't want to repeat. "You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle, and what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you." I knew he tacked that on the end just to get to me. "You listened because it was the right thing to do," I mumbled, my arguments getting weaker. "Okay—pick either reason." "It's not the right thing now, I won't kill him." How could he be wrong? My perfect little boy. "Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Should brought some blue balloons." Of course I blushed at his jokes. I looked down embarrassed. " I don't know he's a boy, the ultrasound wouldn't work. The membrane around he baby is too hard—like their skin. He's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head." I remembered all my dreams. " It's not some pretty baby in there Bella." But I knew just how my baby would look, "We'll see," I tested him. "_You_ won't," he growled at me again. "You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this," I looked up to see his face, but he was just staring at the white carpet, breathing loudly. I heard the big gush of air that escaped his lungs every time he breathed out. "Jake, It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay. I stroked his black shiny hair. "No. It will not be okay." I saw something glisten around his eye. I wiped my cold finger underneath and wiped away his tears. "Shhh," I tried to calm him. " What's the deal Bella? I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?" I couldn't answer right away. How could I explain the connection I held with this little boy groeing inside of me? "It's not like that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just a baby. It's…well…_this_ baby," "It's a killer Bella. Look at yourself." "He's not. It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can rough this out Jake, I can—" "Aw come on! Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap with your bloodsucker, but your not fooling me. You know your not going to make it. " I cut my eyes at him "I do not _know _that. I'm worried about it sure. " "_Worried_ about it." He repeated, cutting me off. But then a sharp pain jabbed at my stomach, as though ripping my form the inside out. I gasped, but even that movement hurt. "I'm fine," I panted, "It's nothing." I pulled back my long sweatshirt, revealing my bruised stomach, to see what the damage was. I looked up to see Jacob staring, and I tugged the fabric back down. "He's strong, that's all," I said upset by his face, which hadn't shifted one inch. "Bella…Bella don't do this," he said pleading now. I knew him seeing my bruised stomach had changed his attitude. "Jake—" I began to argue, but he interrupted, "Listen to me. Don't get our back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if…?" "What if what?" I couldn't understand what he was trying to say. "What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?" "I won't—" I tried to argue again, but he cut me off "I'm not done yet, so you stay alive. Then you can start over. This doesn't work out. Try again." His face was a wrinkled up in concentration. I couldn't understand what he was trying to say to me. If I tried again with Edward…it would be the same. I touched my hand to his face, smoothing the lines. "I don't understand, " I admitted, "What do you mean try again? You can't think Edward would let me…? And what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby—" "Yes, any kind _of his_ baby would be the same." What was he saying? "What?" I tried to make sense of his words. How could I try again with something besides Edward…oh. "Oh. Ugh. _Please_, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination? Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it doesn't make a difference, any baby will do?" I said. I was surprised at the tone my voice had taken, but did he really expect me to just give up my little precious child. It wouldn't be the same with anyone else…anyone else but my little nudger. " I didn't mean that, not a stranger." I leaned it closer to him. "Then what are you saying?" I was thoroughly confused now. "Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Same as ever." "Where did that come from?" "Forget it, Bella." What had they talked about outside? "Did _he _tell you to say that?" "No." "He didn't say anything about artificial whatever." I pictured Edward's tortured face in my mind again and sank back against the couch. I was exhausted form fighting with Jacob. I didn't want to fight, I had already had these conversations with Edward…"He would do anything for e. And I'm hurting him so much…But what is he thinking? That I would trade this," I caressed my nudger, "For some stranger's…" I felt very odd when a teardrop escaped my eyes. I was always so sensitive nowadays. Jacob took his time responding. " You don't have to hurt him, you could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think he's losing it. Honestly, I do." I hated having my suspicions confirmed, so I looked away as if I was interested in something else. My thoughts trailed back to their talk. What had he said about me giving up the baby? " Not a stranger? What exactly did Edward say to you?" I said softly. "Nothing. He thought you might listen to me." "Not that, about trying again." I looked at his eyes, and I could tell I had hit a mark and he didn't want to tell me something. "Nothing." I thought about it and then all the pieces fell into place. My mouth opened involuntarily. "He really would do _anything_, wouldn't he?" I said barley audible. "I told you he was going crazy. Literally Bells." I couldn't imagine Edward asking Jacob this. "I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble. " I grinned a little. It felt nice. "Thought about it." He tried to smile, but it was a pathetic attempt. "There isn't much you wouldn't do for me either is there? I really don't' know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you." "It makes no difference though, does it?" "Not this time. I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I can't hurt him any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him." I tried to explain. "Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" I considered that momentarily, then replied, " I don't think I do." "Trust me." He said as he shifted his weight to stand. "Where are you going?" I asked almost desperate. "I'm not doing any good here." I reached out for him, begging, "Don't go." "I don't belong here. I've got to go back." "Why did you come today?" I needed to know. "Just to see if you were really alive. I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said." I considered that answer. "Will you come back again? Before…" I knew I was being greedy and selfish, but Jacob seemed make things right here. He was wrong. He _did_ belong here. "I'm not going to hang around and watch you die Bella." I was being selfish. I was causing everyone around me pain, Charlie, Edward…Jacob. "You're right, you're right. You _should_ go." He turned his back to me. I realized this might be the last time I ever saw him. I felt a sharp pang in my gut, but it wasn't the baby this time. "Bye. Love you Jake." I whispered for possibly the last time. "Sure, sure," he said without turning around.


End file.
